When you've invested in you, reconnected with yourself, and you've been on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, many of my single clients feel they are then ready to start to dip their toe into the dating world and on a mission to find their soulmate to share their beautiful journey with, but they have no idea where to start, so I thought I'd share my 4 top tips from the Bringing Sparkle Back clinic on how you can prepare yourself for the world of dating and finding your Mr Right...
1. Set yourself some expectations
There is nothing wrong at all with having a set of expectations when it comes to dating and finding 'the one' because having expectations for how you want to be treated identifies you as a quality person. When you have expectations, it shows that you value yourself. You value your time. You know what you want and you’re going for it. You know what kind of life you want to have and you are on your way to achieving it - hands up to you! Working out what you want in a 'Mr Right List' (the essentials and the desirable's) is a good thing to do BEFORE you start dating.
We all respect and admire people who are on a mission, who are reaching for their dreams. When you have some expectations you have direction.You know where you’re heading and what you’re reaching for. Your Mr Right is out there, but lowering your expectations is a sure fire long way round to go about finding him or her!
2. It's about YOU, not them.
You are not trying to find out if the person you are out on a date with accepts you, or if you are good enough for them. You are trying to figure out if you accept him and whether he is good enough for you. Does he have qualities that you value? Does he make you feel good? Does he treat you the way you want to be treated? Just because you've gone on a date with him doesn't mean you owe him anything if he doesn't tick those boxes.
3. Nail your USP (Unique Selling Points)
Self awareness is key - spend some time nailing your Unique Selling Points, the 3 or 4 key things that make you who you are, and be prepared to share these. This isn't about being big headed or coming across as arrogant, more about focusing on your best bits. I guarantee you will always get asked the question 'tell me a bit about you' - it's a good thing to have a couple of (positive) things you can share at the ready.
4. Put your positive pants on
People are attracted to positive people and a big part of attraction is about visualising that person will be a ray of sunshine in their life and an added bonus. On your date, focus on the positive things in your life. Let that sparkle shine bright!
And the last bit, try not to get disheartened. You might have to date a fair few frogs to find your Prince. This isn't because you aren't good enough or because you are destined to be on your own forever. It's because you know what you want and aren't prepared to settle for anything less. Go out there and make it happen ladies and don't settle for anything less than you deserve! Your champion is out there
Catherine Asta Labbett, is the founder and owner of Yorkshire based 'Bringing Sparkle Back' delivering Psychotherapy, Relationship and Life Coaching exclusively for women.